What If

Don’t you ever ask yourself what would’ve happened if you’d made a different decision? Well that happens to me a lot.


But that morning  was different from the other times I have asked myself this, it felt like this question was resonating in my head, no matter what. Not even all of the honks from the cars or the people shouting and selling things in the street were louder than my thoughts and not even the sun burning my skin could’ve been more intense than that feeling.  I went to work, I sat on those little four walls for 6 hours, I went to the store to buy some food, I took the bus back home, I did all the things that any city person  would do in their daily life. And when I came home, I couldn’t get used to it, I felt like it was a stranger’s room, I felt something that I can’t describe, my chest started to hurt and my heartbeats were faster than the regular. I didn’t know why that was happening to me, after all I’ve lived in that small and empty apartment since 5 years ago. 


I don’t know how the time passed so quickly, for me it felt like only two minutes, but actually, three hours had passed since I got home. I went to the kitchen, walking slowly and carefully to not run into all the papers I had on the floor. I opened the empty cupboard to get some pills but I suddenly fainted and that was when it all started.


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